Yes mullets, you are reading correctly, Shago has hitched his way to comic con again. But in a surprising twist this year, our sponsors have allowed me to use the free wi-fi available at the convention center to type up his aimless rants…

…as the disappointment of not getting a beverage at last call wears off, all I can do is continue to boo Hayden Christensen and give awards for what little I saw today.

BEST PERSON:
Without a doubt, Zoe Saldana (Uhura from Star Trek ’09). She was beautiful, insightful, and eloquent as she talked about the role of female characters in Hollywood. To give you an idea of how awesome she was…she was sitting next to Sigourney Weaver, and still blew everyone’s mind.

BEST PANEL
Dexter – First off, I think this is a fantastic show, so I may be bias. John Lithgow is the the new villain for next season, so I hope the show continues to impress. I’m a little afraid of Jennifer Carpenter now, but I like it.

BEST COSTUME
The fandango paper bag. I didn’t see any eyeholes, but it was crossing the street. Bravo, you took the most annoying thing about pre-movie seating and tried to get it hit by a car.

BEST OF THE REST
Bruce Campbell & Burn Notice. Never really watched the show, but Bruce was hilarious as always.

So there I was, confused, kinda drunk, empty flask on the hip, quite possibly dreaming…

…deserted on a tropical island with Brooke Shields…Audrey Hepburn calling me Fred…scattering Steve Buscemi’s ashes…Tom Hanks singing the Cowboy Song……Robert Duvall telling me that the waves break both ways…and fading away as Elisabeth Shue made me rice. Then I started thinking about…joining the army cause these are the same people I see at unemployment…or maybe I could invent the Opti-Grab…or should I just bet it all on Fleet Dreams…

…and then someone asked me, “What are your top five movies of all time?” A challenge that Shago will accept. My only disclaimer is that, in my opinion, great movies have to have “re-watch-ability.” There are great movies like Schindler’s List, Pan’s Lybyrinth, The Usual Suspects, Das Boot, Saving Private Ryan…etc, but, for the top of my pork list, I need it to be in my collection and always available.

1. Casablanca. Maybe I’m a rank sentimentalist, but easily the greatest movie ever made. Great actors portraying believable characters in a fabulous story. Drama, love, a great ending, and most of all, Bogart’s subtle comedy, “do you want a drink…of course not…mind if I have one?” Mullets, watch this movie again, it’s a masterpiece.

2. The Godfather. An easy choice. Great writing + great acting + great directing = brilliance. Am I the only one that can still watch a three hour movie?

3. The Sting – Newman & Redford, I love to watch it so I can remember what acting used to be. They make movies today to show guns, violence, women, suffering, etc in unending and incomprehensible actions scenes. They think this will cover up the fact that there is no story. Give me a movie like The Sting, I want more characters, I’ve already seen every explosion.

4. The Matrix, I’m not a big Keanu fan, but I really think this is a great movie. In fact, Joe Pantoliano and Hugo Weaving make the movie, they’re fabulous. Next time you watch it, take note of how many times you are captivated by them just talking. The sequels could never equal the original, but which ever could? (Phantom Menace, looking at you…). I’ll have trouble believing that you weren’t blown away the first time you saw this. Plus Carrie-Anne Moss in leather!

5. Raiders of the Lost Ark. After watching this , didn’t everyone want to be Indy? I know I did. Unfortunately, Kingdom of Crystal Skull did knock this down to 5…and still falling.

Honorable Mention

Star Wars: of course.

Jaws – I really want to put this in the top 5 and it may replace Raiders as I write this. After this movie came out, people became mortified of sharks, wow. Kinda like everyone fears Transformers, Hangovers, Cobra, Horowitz, Museums, Christian Bale’s next accent, and marrying Sandra Bullock now…right? …maybe? …hello? …can I get a hallelujah from 20C? …or not? Ok, those movies may be 80 minutes of “fun”, but after watching Jaws, you were seriously afraid of water…awesome.

Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan: the best and only reason to consider that a sequel could be better than the original. Dear Hollywood, if Ricardo Montalban is not in your sequel, reconsider making it.

James Bond. Bond movies of the 70′s and 80′s were fantastic. And, in my opinion, really started its own genre (anything spy, government related…i.e. Bourne, Tom Clancy etc.) Well done.

The Shawshank Redemption: Excellent movie with all the elements of greatness. Great story, great character development, great ending. But can you watch Escape from Alcatraz with Clint Eastwood and still have the same respect for this movie? I can’t.
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And I might as well throw in the worst…off the top of my head…hmm…maybe something with Horowitz? How about Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael? Watched it with Anita Mandalay, and we agreed, quite possibly the worst thing I ever saw.